My experience with abortions is that I had an abortion when I was 20 years old. I don’t think I can say much more than that, except that I still don’t regret the decision and I am doing very, very well, both physically and psychologically.
I never had the feeling that I had no access to information about the procedure of abortion. So I felt very well informed, both by my gynecologist and by the person who conducted the consultation with me. I didn’t have the feeling that there were any barriers in my way, even though the situation in Germany is not easy. I have to say that I also had a person at my side who had already had an abortion and I therefore had someone at my side who could accompany me through this procedure and who could of course provide me with the information from her own experience. I think that strengthened me in my decision and also in the feeling and security that I had along with this decision. But I could imagine that it was not so easy for the person who had the abortion to get the information or to understand the procedure behind the abortion and the consultation and so on.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I decided that I didn’t want to share this with so many people because it is not an easy decision to make anyway and you feel like a stranger in your own body – or I felt like a stranger in my own body and I have been troubled with feelings of guilt and so on. The people I told, they were there for me one hundred percent, they never gave me a bad feeling, they accompanied me through the whole process and some of them were also there during the abortion and brought me home and so on. I also see it critically that I had the feeling with many people that I just can’t tell them, because I was already overwhelmed with the situation and then you have enough to do with the situation alone – or I already had enough to deal with it. Now in retrospect I’m much more open with it because I think it’s super important that we talk more about this topic and I just want to be there for friends or people who decide to have an abortion and get into this situation. And I can only do that if they know that I have already done that and that they can come to me and I can be there for them.
For me the stigmatization, I think, and I have simply noticed it in myself, becomes clear in this situation by the fact that I simply had an unbelievable fear of being pregnant and having to have an abortion and the whole procedure and how I deal with it, towards other people, or friends, or my parents, or my family. All these things that are involved, that can really make you depressed. I really didn’t feel well during this time and in retrospect I think that it was simply not justifiable. That the whole drama and all the stigmatization and taboo associated with this topic is simply not justified and I would really like to see more education about it. How this whole topic is generally tabooed and there I see the stigmatization and this social image, which is still associated with abortions and unwanted pregnancy.
Critically of the whole procedure of abortion and the system that stands behind it in Germany, I see in any case that simply §218 still says that abortion can be punished with a prison sentence. That is in my eyes simply an absolute NoGo.
I have to say that I think this consulting rule is actually good, because it has done me good. I was glad to be able to talk to someone who knows about the field and who does this regularly to have someone who can explain the possibilities and risks and all these things in a clear and objective way.
I could well imagine that there are also people who somehow don’t need such a consultation, and for whom it is simply unpleasant. I also think that this is something that needs to be accepted.
I am very unsure about the fact that abortions may only be performed until the thirteenth week of pregnancy. So I think that this is also an incredibly personal decision. For me, I already know, I think, that from a certain maturity of the embryo and from a certain degree of development, I think I would have had more problems to perform this abortion and end this life.
I had my abortion very, very early and could therefore somehow reconcile this with my conscience and my convictions and so on. But here, too, I personally think that there should be the possibility – yes, here, too, in my eyes, women* are allowed to have control over their bodies.
Also this advertising ban for abortions still exists for doctors. I also see this, in my eyes, very, very critically, because this information should simply be freely available. And we somehow advertise for, I don’t know what kind of things in Germany advertising is somehow allowed for – but for abortions it is not allowed? In my opinion this is somehow not possible and the information should just be available and it should also be available where you can get abortions done.
More generally, I would like to say that people who are about to have an abortion now, I would just like to take the fear away. So if you are sure that this is the right decision for you, then you really don’t have to worry. The procedure is simple – it’s incredibly fast, it works relatively gently. I had no physical problems afterwards and everything returned to normal relatively quickly and despair, or perhaps the feelings of guilt that you carry with you, are really unjustified in many ways. Because, if this is your decision, and you have decided so, and you are one hundred percent behind this decision, then it is also absolutely okay. I would just like to take away your fear and tell you that everything will be okay and that it is half as bad for most women*, as far as I can tell from my evaluation and from my experiences, as it is often described.
